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Thursday, September 28, 2006

Daddy Longlegs

For a long time Yaxlich has wondered what the point of daddy longlegs was. Outside of flying into lightbulbs and giving Yaxlich the creeps, they don't appear to do much else.

Today the BBC News website has answered the question and Yaxlich is relieved to find out that they actually have a purpose. The article is called What's the point of daddy longlegs? which he thinks is an excellent title. It tells you exactly what to expect.

Anyway, it would appear that the sole purpose of daddy longlegs is to be a food source for other creatures. That must be a bit of a bummer.

There you are, a young larvae burrowing your way into the earth to get at some tasty grass roots, munching on an old leaf and hanging out with your larvae friends. Nobody ever mentions the fact that you're an orphan because everyone else is an orphan. No one ever stops to question why, it's just what being a larvae is all about. It somehow creates a sense of unity. You're all part of one big orphan gang wearing your leather jackets.

Conversation turns to what you're going to be when you grow up. Rumour has it that after you reach pupaety you turn into a daddy longlegs. They sound really cool! They sound like the superhero of the insect world. Who's your daddy (longlegs)?

Boy larvae meets girl larvae and everything is rosy in the garden until one day you bump into a beetle. His name is Ringo. You tell him your plans for the future and that one day you're going to be a daddy longlegs. He laughs at you and tells you that you're only going to live for two weeks and the sole reason you're on the planet is to be eaten by spiders and birds.

All of your hopes and dreams have been shattered in an instant. You'd planned to marry this girl larvae, have baby larvae and stay together for all eterntity. You didn't want your baby larvae to grow up without a mother and father like you did. You wanted to take your baby larvae down to the park and play football. You wanted to watch them grow up and now this is never going to happen. You are distraught. Small larvae sized tears well up in your eyes.

"One other thing", Ringo says as he saunters off to do whatever it is that beetles do, "although you only live for two weeks, your purpose is to mate as much as you can before you snuff it".

Oh well, maybe it's not so bad being a daddy longlegs.

Comments on "Daddy Longlegs"


Blogger Tish said ... (3:24 pm) : 

Tish likes seeing pictures of spiders, but not just before bed time. Now Tish will likely have nasty dreams about being kidnapped by Spiderman, wearing lycra and spandex...

Spiderman that is, not Tish.


Anonymous Sim said ... (9:29 pm) : 

I wonder once Daddy long legs finds out how much time he has left, whether he lets it all go and does everything he ever wanted to do. After all - he's going to get away with it. Which probably explains why I always find one in my drink at BBQ's


Blogger Marnie said ... (2:01 am) : 

Your Daddy Longlegs can fly? Huh. Here in Ontario we use that name for a different insect, one that doesn't fly. I found a page that explains the different Daddies:


Blogger terra shield said ... (7:27 am) : 

The sad truth behind the lives of daddy long legs...
Makes a good story, doesn't it?


Blogger gem said ... (12:45 am) : 

Lord, this was a funny post. "You want to go down to the park and play football"? Yaxlich. You kill me. Where have you been all my life?


Blogger Mimi Lenox said ... (7:27 am) : 

Very funny post, Yaxlich. You could make a story out of a paper bag.


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (3:06 pm) : 

Tish - Yaxlich does not like spiders or creepy crawlies of any kind so searching Google for the pictures for this post disturbed him greatly and may have contributed to the twitchy eye thing.

Sim - if Yaxlich were a daddy longlegs who discovered he only had two weeks to live, he too would spend his days at BBQ's stealing other peoples drinks.

Marnie - sadly the link is not available today but given Yaxlich's dislike of all things creepy and/or crawly, he is probably grateful for that fact.

Terra Shield - whilst he finds it sad that the daddy longlegs is only born to be eaten, he is pleased to finally find out their purpose.

Gem - Yaxlich is pleased that you enjoyed his post. In answer to your question, he has always been here although not always necessarily at the same time.

Mimi - Yaxlich would like to thank you for inspiring him to write about a paper bag.


Blogger Clare said ... (1:55 pm) : 

We had similar wonderings on our hols this year as we watched the silly things blundering about the place.

They can't fly, they can't navigate, they can't avoid spider webs, they can't clean bits of dust and web off the ends of their legs, they're totally rubbish at evading capture by small children...

So how did they ever survive in the first place?

Evolution is a lie.


Blogger Clare said ... (1:58 pm) : 

P.S. They're rubbish at not getting burnt by naked flames and stuck in candle wax, as well.

And I'm sure spiders don't eat them. There are always old daddy long legs stuck in spider-webs and they just seem to hang there for ages, getting not-eaten.

And anyway, they're so big and blundery they decimate most webs and carry them off with them, trailing behind on the ends of their legs. If I were a spider I'd think they were bloody hooligans.


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (2:29 pm) : 

Clare is correct about the fact that daddy longlegs never seem to be eaten by spiders. Perhaps they are the Pot Noodle of the insect food chain. You only ever eat them when there's nothing left in the house.


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