Yaxlich Has A Problem

Yaxlich shares a flat with a friend of his. Every weekend his girlfriend comes to stay. She's a funny little Peruvian person. Yaxlich isn't sure whether they have the internet in Peru. He knows that Paddington Bear used to live in Peru before he arrived in England at Waterloo Station. His friends girlfriend arrives on a Thursday night and goes home on a Sunday night. She never leaves the flat. Yaxlich doesn't know if she is agoraphobic or not but she sits in the lounge all day watching TV until Yaxlich's friend comes home and then they try to make babies. Yaxlich knows they are making babies because he found them doing it the other night. He didn't mean to. He thought that his friends girlfriend was dying because he heard her shout "Jesus Christ I'm coming" and he ran in to try to save her going to Heaven. The problem Yaxlich has is that he needs to have a poo. Yaxlich lives in a very small flat and the lounge is next to the toilet. The toilet isn't very well sound proofed and Yaxlich doesn't want his friends girlfriend to hear him poo. When he first moved into his flat Yaxlich didn't think that anyone could hear him poo. The giggles from the lounge proved Yaxlich wrong. He has tried everything. Putting toilet roll into the bowl to prevent splash back. Singing loudly. Coughing to disguise his farts. None of it works. Yaxlich doesn't know if he can hold on until she goes Sunday night.