Yaxlich Family Christmas
| Yesterday was Christmas Day. This is a significant day in the Christian calendar. It is an opportunity to celebrate the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ, the invention of swaddling clothes and to give thanks to shepherds for washing their socks at night. Yaxlich feels really bad. He didn't think about Jesus much yesterday or about shepherds. He did think about sheep a bit but he's not sure he wants to share this in his blog. All he thought about what how tight his brother in law is with the family booze. The way he sees it, his family are going to be cooking all the food on Christmas Day and Yaxlich is going to be a guest so the least he can do is use his vegetable soup money, not eat for a couple of days and buy some nice wine to wash it all down with so off he went to the special off licence on Christmas Eve to buy something special Christmas lunch. The regular off licence only sells Blue Nun or something else that is equally only suitable for removing stubborn stains or for using in chemical attacks on underfed African nations. The result? Yaxlich was given dessert wine for Christmas lunch. Sweet, sickly, nasty congealed grape smeg. Something his b-i-l had been given as a "present" from someone at work. From Spain. With a bull around the bottle neck. Every year it's the same, his B-I-L snaffles the good stuff and squirrels it away to either drink on his own in the potting shed or to share with his wife when he wants to make babies. If his sister has any more babies this year, they cost £9.98 from Thresher. Yaxlich has the receipt. |
posted by Yaxlich at 10:32 pm
Comments on "Yaxlich Family Christmas"
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Unknown said ... (11:23 pm)
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y.Wendy.y said ... (9:42 am)
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CJ said ... (11:45 am)
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Anonymous said ... (1:03 pm)
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Anonymous said ... (3:32 pm)
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Anonymous said ... (3:38 pm)
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Yaxlich said ... (3:45 pm)
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post a commentI give the bulls to my kids for presents. They all have a big texas herd now.
Viva espagne I say.
Ha ha ha....poor Yaxlich! Wendz had an excellent bottle of St Emilion red and a wonderful Gewurstraminer- all to herself - as her Mommy only drinks tea...and Wendz was very drunk and fell over but hey hey it was Christmas,
Poor poor Yaxlich.
Ah, my poor Yaxlich! May I suggest being sneaky the next time and bring the bottle to the Christmas dinner table yourself and bring a corkscrew in your pocket to open it with so that it doesn't have to disappear into the kitchen to be magically transformed into rotgut by the time it comes back out again?
Bad wine should only be drunk by the numb tongued truly intoxicated.
Ignorminious can't remember what wine's he drunk over Christmas, only that he suspects this morning that he may have drunk rather a lot of them. He spent most of Boxing Day admiring his brother for sticking largely to coke, until he discovered that it was actually just 50% coke and 50% whisky.
Yaxich should start saving for next year's bottle now, although not at the expense of his stomach, as eating is very important!
£9.98 for that ferret slash?
He must be mad. Try Laithwaites.
Here is the writers market site. Save your soup money and subscribe to it.
www.writersmarket.com
You could ( yes you could ) write for fun and profit. I think you are skilled enough to be able to earn your own *quality* booze. That and much more.
Littlebear
B&MF - Yaxlich will be popping over to his sisters again at the weekend. If Christmas Day is anything to go by, he will be in a position to increase your childrens herd by at least one more.
AA - Yaxlich appreciates the love and if he had a car he would use you to look after it.
Wendz - Yaxlich hopes that the fall wasn't a painful one and that you don't have any nasty bruises.
CJ - He's a bit worried about walking around with a corkscrew in his pocket. He thinks it might be against Health & Safety regulations.
Iggy - Eating is cheating.
John G - They were definitely bulls, not ferrets.
Littlebear - That is very kind of you to say so. Yaxlich will investigate the Writers Market further.