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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Downhill Doggy

Yaxlich has just got back from the shops. He went in to buy some bread, some beers and a packet of cigarettes. He thought you might like to know.

On the way back from the shops he passes a park. When he says park, it's not like Regents Park or anything big like that. It's a grassed area with a bench next to a main road so it's not really a park but park is much easier to type than grassed area with a bench next to a main road.

On his journey back today, Yaxlich saw a dog having a poo in the park. The dogs owner had obviously come prepared for this moment because she scooped up the poo with a Sainsburys plastic bag whilst the dog wiped it's bottom by shuffling across the grass, propelling itself using only it's front legs whilst its back legs were pushed up to its chest*.

This always makes Yaxlich laugh because whenever he sees a dog wiping its bottom in this style he hums the theme tune to Ski Sunday because they look like downhill skiers.

* - Yaxlich tried to find a picture of the action to describe it better but after half an hour of looking on Google, he not only couldn't find a picture but he also felt physically sick. As a word of warning, he would suggest that should any of his readers ever feel the need to type in multiple variants of "dog wiping shit encrusted arse" that they should ensure that the Safe Search option is enabled.

** - Yaxlich would like to thank ttnacm for braving Google for long enough to find the above picture.

Comments on "Downhill Doggy"

 

Blogger ldbug said ... (7:49 pm) : 

Noted..

 

Blogger Ariel said ... (8:16 pm) : 

For a visual canine excrement fest, I herewith recommend the most excellent and much under-rated "The Sex Lives of the Potato Men"... Yaxlich might find it useful to equip himself with a sick bag prior to viewing said masterpiece.

 

Blogger mad muthas said ... (9:40 pm) : 

now the next time anyone googles that they're going to tip up at your place! (or was that your fiendish plan all along?)

 

Blogger tinks said ... (12:09 am) : 

Yaxlich - you make me lol!

Luckily am reading this post at home, but do regularly check in at lunchtime whilst at work. I think my work colleagues/associates, whatever you want to call them, must think I'm cracking under the pressure, cos they keep hearing me giggling away....

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:00 am) : 

Keith often wonders if Yaxlichs world is in anyway connected to Earth. It seems to Keith that Yaxlich lives in a parallel world which bears a slight resemblence to ours, but only just.

Here when people take a dog for a crap-walk, they just leave the shit on the pavement, usually in front of Keiths gate. Doge here don't wipe their arses either, because all the dogs (and Keith supects the owners as well) walk around with Klingons dangling from their arses.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:05 am) : 

Keith apologises profusely, be he forgot to identify himself in the last post.
Keith

 

Anonymous ttancm said ... (5:02 am) : 

Hello,

I think for the dog pose you mean this

I couldn't find any actual photos either, but I would like to add that trying a google image search and adding variants of the word "drag" or "dragging" adds a whole new level of horror to things which includes both overweight men in women's clothing and horrendous animal injuries...

I did however find a video of what you are talking about at youtube

 

Blogger Quick said ... (8:05 am) : 

Haha. We used to call it toboganning.

Also, I imagine the owner bumping into someone they know.

"Been shopping? What did you buy?"

"Nothing."

"No seriously - what's in the bag?"

Etc.

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (9:48 am) : 

Ldbug - Fortunately ttancm has found the picture so you no longer need to Google it. Welcome to the blog, by the way.

Ariel - Yaxlich still hasn't seen this film. He will have to look out for it on telly.

Mad Muthas - He is getting a little concerned at what Google is going to make of his recent posts...

Tinks - You shouldn't worry about things like that. It's when they present you with the H&S manual that you should start worrying.

Keith - It is the same world just from another perspective.

ttancm - Yaxlich can't thank you enough for these links. They made him laugh heartily this morning.

Quick - Perhaps the conversation would go a bit like this:

"Been shopping? What did you buy?"

"Nothing."

"No seriously - what's in the bag?"

"Oh just some shit I picked up"

 

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