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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Mimi Mental Meme

Mimi has tagged Yaxlich with a meme. Apparently he has to list 9 weird things about himself.

He has found this very difficult because he's not weird but he feels compelled to complete the meme because Mimi is Queen Meme. She might lock him in a tower and cut his head off if he doesn't and he thinks that sounds quite nasty.

+ When he does a number one, he always sits down. Like a girl. He thinks it's connected with when he was much smaller than he is now and couldn't control his Beefy McManstick when having a wee wee and his mummy used to tell him off for doing a widdle on the floor.

+ He often rehearses a phone call before actually making it.

+ When he was about 13 he had a friend called Norman. He was distraught when his dog, Sheppie, ate Norman one day. His mummy told him not to be so stupid because Norman was only a hazelnut.

+ He once did a blow off that was timed at 16 seconds. This isn't particularly weird in itself. What is weird is that one of his friends actually timed it on his Casio digital watch because he was the only boy in the class who had a digital watch and he wanted to show off. The boy with the watch, not Yaxlich. Although thinking about it, it's quite impressive and he's sure that people still talk about it.

+ He is obsessed with clean finger nails. For some genetic reason his finger nails attract a lot of dirt under them even when he's not been anywhere his fingers could get dirty. He can clean them one minute and the next they've already started collecting finger nail gunk.

+ He can't cook rice. Yaxlich loves rice but he can't cook it. It always turns into some soggy, inedible mess. He has tried all sorts of methods and techniques including a special rice cooker but he managed to break that. He now only uses Uncle Bens microwave rice.

+ He finds it pant wettingly funny when he sees small children fall over. There is something about the way in which they fall, closely followed by the 2-3 seconds of shocked expression on their face before they start bawling that he finds very ridiculously amusing.

+ When he was about 6 he went on holiday with his sister to the country where his daddy had moved to. For the whole time he was there he only ate tomato sauce sandwiches.

+ He has to have his CD collection in alphabetical order. He starts with all of the solo artists and then splits compilation albums into musical genre first and then alphabetically.

He is supposed to tag nine other people with this meme but, to be honest, he is mentally drained having spent the last few hours whittling down his choices to just 9. If anyone reading this does feel suitably masochistic and complete the meme without being tagged, please feel free to leave a comment here.

Just before you throw yourself off a bridge.

Comments on "Mimi Mental Meme"


Blogger Lizza said ... (6:37 am) : 

Yaxlich should put the fingernail gunk to good use: he should make a fingernail gunk monolith to go along with his rhinolith monolith.

What is a blow off?

I generally don't laugh when small children fall over, but the way Yaxlich described it made me laugh. As did his description of Strange Thing #1.


Blogger Mimi Lenox said ... (7:18 am) : 

Now I feel ashamed I have caused you such distress but equally relieved I won't have to utter "Off with his head!"
It's your fault you know. After all, you're the one who crowned me Queen of Memes. You've created a monster. Bwahahahaha


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (10:25 am) : 

Blow off = fart, trouser cough, guff, poot, parp, bottom burp, etc.

Yaxlich is unsure if it's the physical act of falling or the 2-3 seconds of aftermath that he finds so amusing. Either way, he's a sucker for the home video shows.

Mimi should know that the distress was caused equally by the meme itself and the accompanying stress of raking up past episodes in his life. Like the death of Norman.

He is back to normal this morning and is making the necessary plans for his fortnightly trip to the vegetable soup place.


Blogger Levi said ... (5:22 pm) : 

Boil up a pan of water. Add salt. Add a fistful of rice per person plus a fistful per pan. Wait ten minutes.

Brown rice needs rinsing first.

I hope that can be of some help and consolation.


Blogger Mimi Lenox said ... (9:45 pm) : 

Queen is glad to know Yaxlich is OK.


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (11:29 pm) : 

Yaxlich thanks Levi for the cooking advice. He now sees where he has been going wrong. He was adding a fistful of boiling water to the mix. This explains a lot of things. Like the first degree burns on his hand.

Mimi can be assured that Yaxlich is OK but he won't be taking part in any memes for a while until his brain stops hurting.


Blogger Reeholio said ... (9:47 am) : 

Wow, 16 seconds. That is indeed impressive. Luckily there was no such thing as a fart-tax back then!


Blogger gem said ... (12:12 pm) : 

Yaxlich, if mimi is the Queen of memes, than Yaxlich is the King of All Things Scatological. I'll just call you King Scat or KATS. She had to ask, didn't she?

You know, not that you are responsible for everyone else in your island country, but this post does nothing for the world's contention that the British are anally fixated.


Blogger Tish said ... (1:37 pm) : 

Maybe Yaxlich's talents in scatology are mutually exclusive with cooking rice. Especially if it tastes like you know...

Tish encourages her Tishettes to eat rice regularly, she is a firm believer in rice as a staple. Besides Tish isn't a great fan of potatoes on too-regular a basis. So, when Tish cooks rice, she boils it in lightly salted water until tender, pours the whole lot into a colandar and rinses it under the hot tap, then back into the pot and pops the lid on tight. It comes out nice and fluffy and still hot.

Tish fervently hopes this helps Yaxlich.


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (1:57 pm) : 

Reeholio is correct. If Yaxlich were to do a bottom burp of that length today Gordon Brown would probably charge him £80 and put 3 points on his dirving licence.

Yaxlich has never claimed to be anything other than fixated with all things lavatorial. The British humour is based around poo, bums, farts, willies and various combinations of all of the above. He is pleased to embrace all things toilet although he will make sure he washes his hands afterward.

Yaxlich hates to disagree with Tish but rice is not a staple. It does not hold pieces of paper together very well at all.


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