Mimi Mental Meme

Mimi has tagged Yaxlich with a meme. Apparently he has to list 9 weird things about himself. He has found this very difficult because he's not weird but he feels compelled to complete the meme because Mimi is Queen Meme. She might lock him in a tower and cut his head off if he doesn't and he thinks that sounds quite nasty. + When he does a number one, he always sits down. Like a girl. He thinks it's connected with when he was much smaller than he is now and couldn't control his Beefy McManstick when having a wee wee and his mummy used to tell him off for doing a widdle on the floor. + He often rehearses a phone call before actually making it. + When he was about 13 he had a friend called Norman. He was distraught when his dog, Sheppie, ate Norman one day. His mummy told him not to be so stupid because Norman was only a hazelnut. + He once did a blow off that was timed at 16 seconds. This isn't particularly weird in itself. What is weird is that one of his friends actually timed it on his Casio digital watch because he was the only boy in the class who had a digital watch and he wanted to show off. The boy with the watch, not Yaxlich. Although thinking about it, it's quite impressive and he's sure that people still talk about it. + He is obsessed with clean finger nails. For some genetic reason his finger nails attract a lot of dirt under them even when he's not been anywhere his fingers could get dirty. He can clean them one minute and the next they've already started collecting finger nail gunk. + He can't cook rice. Yaxlich loves rice but he can't cook it. It always turns into some soggy, inedible mess. He has tried all sorts of methods and techniques including a special rice cooker but he managed to break that. He now only uses Uncle Bens microwave rice. + He finds it pant wettingly funny when he sees small children fall over. There is something about the way in which they fall, closely followed by the 2-3 seconds of shocked expression on their face before they start bawling that he finds very ridiculously amusing. + When he was about 6 he went on holiday with his sister to the country where his daddy had moved to. For the whole time he was there he only ate tomato sauce sandwiches. + He has to have his CD collection in alphabetical order. He starts with all of the solo artists and then splits compilation albums into musical genre first and then alphabetically. He is supposed to tag nine other people with this meme but, to be honest, he is mentally drained having spent the last few hours whittling down his choices to just 9. If anyone reading this does feel suitably masochistic and complete the meme without being tagged, please feel free to leave a comment here. Just before you throw yourself off a bridge.