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Friday, November 03, 2006


Yesterday was the anniversary of the day Yaxlich entered the world via his mummys front bottom. Most people call this a birthday.

It wasn't a particularly significant birthday. The number of candles on his cake were more than could be counted using a combination of toes and fingers but weren't sufficient to have the fire brigade on standby. Not that Yaxlich had a cake.

Yaxlich doesn't like being 37. He thinks that 37 isn't a good age to be because it was the first birthday he can remember where he hasn't had birthday cake and regular readers* will know that Yaxlich likes cake. He really likes chocolate cake and he usually gets a chocolate cake on his birthday but this year there was no cake, chocolate or otherwise.

His sister invited him round for a birthday dinner which she insisted on referring to as a birthday tea which made Yaxlich feel like he was 5 again. A birthday tea suggests jam sandwiches cut up into triangles. Bowls and bowls of cheesy wotsits, twiglets and salt and vinegar crisps. Jelly and ice cream. Balloons. Birthday cake.

Yaxlich had chicken curry. It was a very nice chicken curry and it was nice to see his sister and her family but no matter how much he likes chicken curry, it's not chocolate cake. You can't put candles in chicken curry. You can't cut it up into small pieces and take it home with you in a paper napkin.

Being 37 just doesn't seem to be much fun. However, he hopes that all this will change. This afternoon he is going to go on a ferry which he is very excited about. He's going to visit his parents on the Isle of Wight. He likes the Isle of Wight. The old shops, the smell of the sea, the squawk of the seagulls, the ancient ruins, the unspoilt countryside, the rustle of incontinence pants.

He hopes that his mummy has made him a cake. He's sure she will have done because Yaxlich is mummys brave little soldier.

* - when Yaxlich refers to readers being regular he is referring to the amount of times they visit his blog rather than the amount of fibre in their diet and their subsequent bowel movements although he does hope that his readers are not constipated. If they are, can he suggest some of his sisters chicken curry? That should do the job.

Comments on "Yesterday"


Blogger Tish said ... (12:50 pm) : 

Yaxlich's Mummy's front bottom was called a birthday? Did it come in a box?

Tish is very confused.


Blogger Tish said ... (12:52 pm) : 

But on a congratulatory note, Tish would like to wish Yaxlich a very happy birthday and remind him that chocolate cake is all in the mind... chocolate cake is all in the mind... chocolate cake is all in the mind... chocolate cake is all in the mind... chocolate cake is all in the mind...

Tish wishes she had some chocolate cake that she could share with Yaxlich.


Blogger simona said ... (1:08 pm) : 

Alcessa wishes Yaxlich much fun in the year to come... Her mind is, like Yaxlich's & Morticia's, all in the chocolate cake, all in the chocolate cake all...


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (1:17 pm) : 

Chocolate cake should be all in the tummy...chocolate cake should be all in the tummy...chocolate cake should be all in the tummy...chocolate cake should be all in the tummy...


Blogger Lizza said ... (3:03 pm) : 

Yaxlich's trip to the Isle of Wight sounds exciting! I hope he does find chocolate cake there. A birthday would be so much more complete if there's chocolate cake--whether one is turning 5 or 37 or 77.

Happy birthday! (And no, I'm not constipated.)


Blogger Wendz said ... (3:58 pm) : 

Lizza - in no way can a trip to the Isle of Wight be called exciting. Yaxlixh is right. The rustle of incontinence pants fills the air, drowning out the sound of waves and ferries and people eating fish and chips. But it is a nice place.

I hope Yaxlich - the brave little soldier - is having lots of chocolate cake on the Isle of Wight, tonight.

Oh and Happy Birthday, Yaxlich.


Anonymous Sim said ... (8:58 pm) : 

Happy Birthday for yesterday Yaxlich. Sim thinks you should stick an candle on the top of a very cold bottle of beer, blow out and make a wish, and drink down in one.

And then have 36 more...



Blogger Jim McKee said ... (10:42 pm) : 

Yax, in case your mummy doesn't make chocolate cake for you, here's some...

Chocolate cake


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (10:15 pm) : 

The IOW is not the most exciting place in the world but it was nice to get away despite the lack of chocolate cake. He thanks Jim for the transatlantic cake he sent. It was the only one he got.

Yaxlich might blog about his weekend tomorrow but, at the moment, he's come home to an empty flat with no cake inside him so he's going to sulk.


Blogger Freddy said ... (8:51 am) : 

Yaxlich should consider himself fortunate that he has had only one birthday sans chocolate cake...


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (11:48 am) : 

Yaxlich supposes that like all runs of good fortune, this one had to come to an end up some point. It doesn't stop the hurt or the pain but at least it allows him to put it into perspective.


Blogger mad muthas said ... (11:52 am) : 

i'm sorry to hear about the cake business. bad - very bad indeed. i have been blogging about cake a great deal lately, so i think i need some.


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