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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Sandwich Bag Ties

When you go to the supermarket and buy sandwich bags you always end up with more sandwich bag ties than sandwich bags. Yaxlich doesn't know why this is but it is something of a given.

You buy 40 x sandwich bags
You get 80 x sandwich bag ties

Presumably this double tie to bag ratio means something in the larger scale of things but, at the moment, Yaxlich cannot quite work out what it is.

Anyway, that is not really the point he's trying to make here.

Earlier on today his wireless network was playing up. He couldn't connect to the Internet at any sort of acceptable speed. He tried to move the modem to somewhere that would allow direct access but nothing seemed to work. In desperation he turned to his Box.

The Box contains all sorts of cables and gubbins. It is basically a collection of computery type things that he has collected over the years. Old dial up modems. RJ45 leads. Small Chinese people. PCMCIA cards and adapters. Network connectors. Left handed PS2 controllers. All sorts of stuff that, one day, might prove useful.

He was looking for a 5 metre network cable so that he could hardwire straight into the modem/router. This would mean that the flaky wireless adapter thingy would become almost as redundant as him and he could plug his 'puter straight into the network.

Picture his horror when he opened the Box and found every imaginable combination of cable knotiness known to man. Despite having been very careful when he last used the Box, every single cable seemed to have found itself intertwined with another. It was almost impossible to find one end from the other.

This happens to Yaxlich a lot. He could literally put a single cable into a box and within five minutes it would find itself more wrapped up in itself than Paris Hilton.

Yaxlich has a theory about this. His grandad died when he was just seven (that's Yaxlich, not his grandad) and he doesn't really remember much about him apart from his sense of fun, mischief, smell of pipe tobacco and an undying love for Yaxlich.

Apparently his grandad also liked to play practical jokes. Yaxlich thinks that this cable knotting thing is his grandad letting him know that he's looking over him and letting him know that he's still around.

Yaxlich would like to thank his grandad for this permanent reminder of his celestial presence but he would like to take this opportunity to ask him where all the spare sandwich bag ties have gone?

After having found that his 5 metre network cable had somehow disappeared, Yaxlich chose to seperate all of these cables and the tag them up using surplus sandwich bag ties. This would make his next visit to the Box somewhat easier. However, despite having a roll of 40-something unused sandwich bags, he had no sandwich bag ties. Where have they all gone??

Yaxlich did his best to roll the cables up properly so as to avoid any kind of computer cable nonsense but he knows that the next time he opens the Box they will be doing something akin to a Roman worm orgy.

Grandad. You've had you're fun. Now either stop playing silly buggers with Yaxlich or show him where you've hidden the sandwich bag ties!

Comments on "Sandwich Bag Ties"


Blogger Lizza said ... (9:10 pm) : 

Grandad may be having fun with Yaxlich in more ways than one. I hope Yaxlich realizes that the word Box can mean something else entirely?


Blogger Wendz said ... (9:49 pm) : 

Thank you Lizza...I shall never look at a box again without cackling my head off.

Yaxlich should consider that possibly he has cables with an attitude problem. Give them ASBO. That'll teach them.


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (12:56 am) : 

Yaxlich believes that grandad is near him throughout most of his life. One of his regrets is that he never got to know his grandad more. He knows that he would have liked to have spent more time with him but sometimes life isn't fair.

Yaxlich is somewhat surprised that Lizza knew this. He never realised that a word so simple as box could be so misconstrued. Lizza has a nuaghty mind.

Wendz should be also sit on the naughty step for the next five minutes and think about what she has said.


Blogger Tish said ... (11:27 am) : 

Tish just spat coffee at her monitor.

PS the monitor says "thanks".


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (12:10 pm) : 

Yaxlich thinks that Tish should try drinking her coffee rather than spit it at her monitor. It is an altogether more pleasurable experience.


Blogger simona said ... (4:59 pm) : 

Now, Alcessa was going to say to Yaxlich that she thinks most of the computerised households own this kind of a Box and she looked into hers just yesterday- and then she read Lizza's comment.

So, what Alcessa is going to say instead is that she thinks Yaxlich's cables might have been doing something only consenting adults should do, in the dark (and when no one is looking),... but she also thinks the Grandad idea is much nicer. So, Yaxlich's Grandad, could you possibly know where my USB cable is?


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (12:41 pm) : 

Yaxlich will attempt a seance this weekend at his mummys to see if they can contact Yaxlich's grandad. He thinks his mummy might want to ask some other questions of her departed father but he will certainly try to bring up the subject of Alcessa's USB cable.


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