Boobless

Inspired by Prometheus' post, Yaxlich got to thinking about technology and how quickly things move on. He remembers when Google, for example, was only used by techy (and frequently tetchy) geeks like him. He recalls the joy of getting a ZX81 for a birthday present. He can still hear the exact sound pattern of his first ever modem. He chuckles over the memory of the sweaty postman delivering a gigantic box which contained a 1GB hard drive. "Yaxlich will never fill a hard drive that big" he said. He also suggested that he preferred Windows 3.1 to Windows 95 because he didn't like all the pictures. Don't start him on DOS... The envy he felt when he saw D**** C****** with a digital watch (Casio, naturally) is something he has not felt since. Not since he first saw Britney Spears with Justin Timberlake, anyway. Whatever happened to calculators? Do they still make them? Can you still type 80087355 into them? It was either Prometheus' post or the out of date beer that Mr E had stored at the back of the food cupboard. Yaxlich is in the Twilight Zone. See? Yaxlich can remember the TV series and doesn't immediately think of the Twiglets advert. It's not quite the same as the William Tell Overture and the Lone Ranger but it's similar. Even now he realises that 99% of his readers won't see the connection between William Tell and the Lone Ranger or even know who the Lone Ranger is. The heady aroma of wee stained Y fronts is upon him. Yaxlich is not 'in' with the kids anymore. He no longer understands their language, has no idea who is top of the Hit Parade and only wears baggy jeans because he's lost about 20lbs and can't afford new ones. There is a saying that Yaxlich once heard: You're only as old as the woman you feel. He thinks it might have been Fred Wedlock who said it. Him or Plato. Regardless of who said it, the only woman Yaxlich feels these days is the old Doris who lives downstairs when he helps her take out her black bags on bin day. She always seems to 'accidentally' stroke Yaxlich's hand whenever she passes the bags out to him. Back to technology. Yaxlich hopes that someone invents something soon which allows him to backup some of his memories so that he can erase the old files and clear up some space on his internal hard drive. They are cluttering up his ROM and the applications required to run them are taking up more than their fair share of RAM too. Yaxlich desperately needs a (brain) dump. He wishes there was some kind of 100GB external hard drive he could use. Sadly, his 3.5 inch floppy won't cut it any more. It's simply not porn being Yaxlich.