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Thursday, December 14, 2006

Boobless

Inspired by Prometheus' post, Yaxlich got to thinking about technology and how quickly things move on. He remembers when Google, for example, was only used by techy (and frequently tetchy) geeks like him. He recalls the joy of getting a ZX81 for a birthday present. He can still hear the exact sound pattern of his first ever modem. He chuckles over the memory of the sweaty postman delivering a gigantic box which contained a 1GB hard drive.

"Yaxlich will never fill a hard drive that big" he said. He also suggested that he preferred Windows 3.1 to Windows 95 because he didn't like all the pictures. Don't start him on DOS...

The envy he felt when he saw D**** C****** with a digital watch (Casio, naturally) is something he has not felt since. Not since he first saw Britney Spears with Justin Timberlake, anyway.

Whatever happened to calculators? Do they still make them? Can you still type 80087355 into them?

It was either Prometheus' post or the out of date beer that Mr E had stored at the back of the food cupboard.

Yaxlich is in the Twilight Zone.

See? Yaxlich can remember the TV series and doesn't immediately think of the Twiglets advert. It's not quite the same as the William Tell Overture and the Lone Ranger but it's similar. Even now he realises that 99% of his readers won't see the connection between William Tell and the Lone Ranger or even know who the Lone Ranger is.

The heady aroma of wee stained Y fronts is upon him. Yaxlich is not 'in' with the kids anymore. He no longer understands their language, has no idea who is top of the Hit Parade and only wears baggy jeans because he's lost about 20lbs and can't afford new ones.

There is a saying that Yaxlich once heard: You're only as old as the woman you feel. He thinks it might have been Fred Wedlock who said it. Him or Plato. Regardless of who said it, the only woman Yaxlich feels these days is the old Doris who lives downstairs when he helps her take out her black bags on bin day. She always seems to 'accidentally' stroke Yaxlich's hand whenever she passes the bags out to him.

Back to technology. Yaxlich hopes that someone invents something soon which allows him to backup some of his memories so that he can erase the old files and clear up some space on his internal hard drive. They are cluttering up his ROM and the applications required to run them are taking up more than their fair share of RAM too.

Yaxlich desperately needs a (brain) dump. He wishes there was some kind of 100GB external hard drive he could use. Sadly, his 3.5 inch floppy won't cut it any more.

It's simply not porn being Yaxlich.

Comments on "Boobless"

 

Anonymous Ignorminious said ... (2:47 am) : 

Awwwww poor Yaxich! Getting old sucks doesn't it? I'm rather amused by the fact that Yaxich seems to think his mind is only 100Gb or so. Since Ignorminious has 410Gb of hard disk space in his PC, does that make his PC smarter than Yaxich?

 

Blogger Richard said ... (4:14 am) : 

Yaxlich, for a whole bunch of reasons, many self pitying I'm guessing, I feel your pain.

I do however know the WT/LR connection, even as one of your young readers.

For a chuckle though, check out my WV - vagqqri

it might just raise a smile, you know, just like you used to...

 

Blogger Wendz said ... (6:39 am) : 

Oh dear - I feel your pain. Especially the not feeling a woman pain - except in my case it's the not getting felt by a man pain.

I hope you feel better today...feeling poo is not porn.

 

Blogger Prometheus said ... (7:33 am) : 

Yaxlich and Prometheus are indeed alike. His first comp was a Spectrum ZX and it had a TV set for display and a Walkman for storage. Yeah, audio tapes were floppies back then. Umm.. floppies? Ya know those things where you could store files?

Prometheus also feels Jurassic when he sees kids speak these days. Amazing how they've shrunk the language to grunts and insulting-sounding words like dawg and homie.

PS: In addition to 55378008 into the calculator, Prometheus knew of other games like typing 35007 into the calculator.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (9:34 am) : 

Maxtor.com

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (11:52 am) : 

Iggy - Yaxlich only requires 100GB to store all the random stuff in his head which he doesn't need any more.

Richard - Yaxlich still smiles although as he's getting older, it takes him longer to recover.

Wendz - Yaxlich is not sure he's feeling better today although he can categorically say that he is feeling much soberer.

Prometheus - Yaxlich still has his 'computer compatible tape recorder' knocking around somewhere just in case he feels the urge to play Manic Miner again.

Anonymous - Yaxlich thanks you for the tip off. Can you recommend a good surgeon to install a USB port in his ear?

 

Blogger CJ said ... (7:42 pm) : 

And in high school I learned to program a computer using those nasty old punch cards. How old does that make me? Or does it just make the school equipment old? Hmmmm

Oh dear you must translate my wv: idushg

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (1:22 pm) : 

Idushg (pronounced aye-doo-shag) - an announcement that you indulge in sexual intercourse

 

Blogger CJ said ... (11:39 am) : 

It lies, It lies! I swear. I don't even know what that is.... la la la la la. I can't hear you!

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (2:31 pm) : 

Yaxlich doesn't know what it is either but he's heard that some people do that kind of thing. It all sounds very naughty to him.

 

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