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Monday, March 12, 2007

Mrs Man

Reasons Yaxlich likes his new job:

  1. He doesn't have to see the vegetable soup people any more

  2. He can do Number Two's at work so no more Clenchometer

  3. He gets to meet lots of new people

  4. He has money to buy underpants and books

  5. He can now be employed by any company in the world as a health and safety expert

There are lots of different people at his new workplace and they all seem to be nice although he has found that since his induction training that he can't help but notice the reckless way some of them use a hole punch but that's another story.

Today he met a nice person. They were very friendly to him in the lift (or elevator if you're reading this in an American accent) and they wished him well in his new career. Yaxlich couldn't help noticing, however, that despite the floral blouse and sensible skirt that his new friend had a remarkably pronounced Adams apple.

Yaxlich mentioned this to his supervisor who casually remarked that this was Tootsie* and that he was a man who is waiting to have an operation on the NHS. Yaxlich was puzzled by this. He had an operation once and all he got to wear was a back to front dressing gown which meant everyone could see his bottom. When he recounted this story to his supervisor, he was told that this particular operation involved the removal of Tootsie's dangly toilet parts.

Yaxlich is glad that he went private.

* Not his/her real name but Yaxlich doesn't want to get in trouble with his new employers.

Comments on "Mrs Man"


Blogger john.g. said ... (7:24 pm) : 

Hee, Hee. But at least Yaxlich wont have to worry about bending down in front of Tootsie*. Just remember to keep your hands to yourself!!


Anonymous Ignorminious said ... (7:53 pm) : 

You're not working in the Bath branch of M&S are you? There was someone working there last time I went in who definately looked like they were waiting for the op. Given NHS waiting times, it wouldn't surprise me if they were still waiting.


Blogger Lizza said ... (4:11 am) : 

At least Yaxlich found something new and exciting (?) at his workplace. And it's good that they're friendly.


Blogger Lizza said ... (4:13 am) : 

Oh, I can do Number Two's at work, too. Because I work at home.

But I bet the vegetable soup place people miss Yaxlich.


Anonymous enidd said ... (5:40 am) : 

enidd's always wondered what they do with the dangly toilet parts they cut off. does the surgeon have a collection of stuffed willies, do you think, and charge entrance money to his students?


Blogger Milk & Two Sugars said ... (12:01 pm) : 

The mantra of the surgeons who perform gender re-assignment surgery is, clasically:

"It's easier to dig a hole than to build a pole."

MTS trusts that Tootsie*'s surgery will, therefore, be a roaring success. Though she can't imagine the NHS waiting list is shorter than 3 years.


Blogger Sally Lomax said ... (4:50 pm) : 

It doesn't bear thinking about what they do with the "spares"..........

You are funny Yaxlich!! The images that are conjured up by your writing are hilarious!


Blogger Ariel said ... (1:42 pm) : 

Sally, they, erm, use them to build the new bits I'm told. A friend of mine went through the process and emerged disgustingly better-looking than any real bird I know! Better still, she went into modelling.
Yaxlich, so glad to hear you will no longer need the clenchometer. Presumably skid marks are also now a thing of the past?


Blogger Terra Shield said ... (2:23 pm) : 

Glad to hear that Yaxlich is getting on well at work :)

New jobs can sometimes be traumatising...


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (11:17 am) : 

John G - Yaxlich hasn't seen Tootsie* for a few days. He wonders if they're off for their operation.

Iggy - Yaxlich has worked in lots of places but he doesn't ever recall working in a shop for dyslexic rubber fetishists before.

All - Is fetishist a real word or has he just made that one up?

Lizza - He imagines they probably do but he, on the other hand, misses them not one single jot.

Enidd - Yaxlich thinks you need to define entrance money before he answers that one.

MTS - Hehehe! Yaxlich appreciates surgeons humour. It makes him chuckle. He'll try to engineer that one into conversation next time he sees Tootsie*

Sally - Yaxlich is pleased that you think so and, therefore, urges you to buy the Shaggy Blog Stories book!

Ariel - Yaxlich will look through his dirty washing bin and come back to you on that one after he has thoroughly examined his pants.

Terra Shield - There was certainly an element of trauma at the beginning caused by the banging of head against a brick wall but, somehow, pre-op transvestites seem to make the place a little bit better.


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