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Saturday, August 12, 2006

They Went Out

For half an hour earlier today Yaxlich was alone in the flat. His housemate and the Peruvian went out. Yaxlich is sitting very comfortably writing this. He is no longer sweating, grimacing, clenching, hyperventilating, crying, begging, pleading, gurning or waddling.

Yaxlich feels on top of the world.

Comments on "They Went Out"

 

Blogger Reeholio said ... (2:30 pm) : 

Glad to hear you are alright Yaxlixh!

After reading your post earlier, I went away and spent much time considering the options for dealing with your unfortunate situation. Luckily you are past the crisis point now, but rest assured, I still have some tips just in case the situation arises again:

After I left I school many years ago, my first job was a bicycle courier around the streets of Wellington (New Zealand, not the Admiral). Working the streets all day, one had to familiarise oneself with the amenities to relieve oneself all over the city if the need arose.

There are good places and there are bad places. Bad places are generally disgustingly dirty places such as railway stations, public street toilets and the like. The better places are ones that get cleaned regularly like McDonalds, and other fast food joints, apartment stores and toilets in building foyers. Basically Yaxlixh, if there is a McDonalds or similar nearby, go for a walk when you have the urge.

If not, well...

Lizza's advice of turning the music up is sound (pun!). However, if they are not keen on turning their music up, you could always carry your personal music player into the toilet. If all they can hear is music, they won't be able to hear the bombs dropping. If you don't have a music player with speakers, that is fine too. The important thing is to not hear them giggle. It is psychological you see. It is important that you don't know or care that they can hear the "explosions". If you can’t hear them hearing you, then it doesn't matter. If you don't have a music player that drowns out their hearing, then drown out your own. Plug the ear phones in, and you can't hear them so you are cleared live. Blast way and then come out and declare something like: "All bombs released, all targets destroyed" and sit down beside them as proud as punch. Believe me; it is as funny as it is for me to write this.

Good luck airman!

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (2:42 pm) : 

Yaxlich would like to thank Reeholio for the advice. Yaxlich believes that the last 48 hours were possibly the most painful he has endured since the episode with Mrs Peabody and the jar of beetroot (see Beefy McManstick comments).

Yaxlich would have taken your advice regarding walking to the nearest clean public toilets but he has been unable to do anything more than clench and sweat for the last day.

Next Friday Yaxlich will action Reeholio's advice and go for a stroll to the nearest McD's to drop the kids off at the pool.

 

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