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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

First Day

It was Yaxlich's first day at work today. It was almost like his first day at school only this time he didn't wet himself or call his boss mummy.

Yaxlich is quite shy so he found it difficult meeting so many people knowing that they were checking him out. It's never nice being the new boy. People make snap judgements that can stick with you for ever. He has an old school friend who still refers to him as "Farty Nose Bleed Boy".

Getting up in the morning wasn't fun. Yaxlich has never been a morning person. Mornings are not his friend. If he had his way, mornings would be banned.

He had one of those moments on the way to the tube station. The kind where you suddenly think that you're wearing your slippers. This is very odd because he hasn't worn slippers since he was 10.

First weeks at new jobs are always rubbish. For the first week nobody knows what to do with you. You're not good enough to be let loose to do your job and so you end up reading the health and safety manual because your boss/mentor/trainer/poor sap designated to look after you* (* delete where applicable) has run out of things to say.

Did you know that the Health and Safety Regulations 1981 require a company to provide appropriate equipment, facilities and personnel to enable first aid to be given to employees if they are injured or become ill at work? How about the fact that carbon dioxide fire extinguishers are only suitable for fires caused by electrical faults and flammable liquids?

Comments on "First Day"

 

Blogger Quick said ... (11:14 pm) : 

First weeks at work are indeed rubbish. As are all the other ones.

Speaking of rubbish, the slippers thing reminds me of the time I walked all the way down the road on my way to work absently clutching the kitchen tidy bag full of rubbish I intended to throw in the big bin at my block of units. I'm very happy that I realised before I got on the bus.

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (11:17 pm) : 

It was a very odd moment. He literally stopped in the middle of the street and checked his footwear. Mornings are evil and should be avoided at all costs.

 

Anonymous Ignorminious said ... (12:05 am) : 

Congrats on starting work ok Yaxlich! I'm sure you will settle in nicely by the end of the decade. Either that or they'll have to make you the health and safety inspector or something.

 

Anonymous Keith said ... (12:20 am) : 

Work? Oh, yes, Keith remembers that, but now keith is an old lazy git who lounges about all day drinking in pubs with JohnG because he thinks that after 50, well maybe 40 years, slaving away he is entitled to watch others work from the comfort of his armchair. Keith wishes Yaxlich well in his new venture of earning a crust.

 

Blogger Lizza said ... (2:03 am) : 

While they're checking out Yaxlich, he should check them out too. Of course he should always make sure that his fly is zipped and that there is nothing unsightly hanging out of his nose whenever he does this.

When Yaxlich is done reading the safety manual, maybe he can talk about cheese, dreams, and other stuff with his mentor/trainer, etc.

 

Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said ... (3:00 am) : 

Mornings are pure liquid evil and to be avoided at all costs.

When my parents named me, they were being ironic.

Congrats on the new job!

 

Blogger Goo said ... (4:30 am) : 

new jobs can be nice, too. a little change is always good...

goo should really find a new job

 

Blogger Terra Shield said ... (5:08 am) : 

It's nicer to sleep through mornings, right?

 

Blogger john.g. said ... (3:52 pm) : 

Congratulations, Yaxlich, I hope you find much financial reward for your endeavours. Personally, I`m going to sit in the pub with Keith.

Being a cripple is a bastard, i`ll tell you!!

 

Blogger Wendz said ... (3:53 pm) : 

Wendz is always late for work because she does not DO mornings. Wendz did go to work in her slippers one day so she had to go home and change them before anyone saw. She was very cross and it made her later for work than usual. Wendz has a bag full of ingenious reasons for her lateness..as well as for taking sickies..today she threw a sickie and said her new bathroom pipes had burst and there was water eveywhere. Wendz must stop this it is naughty.

 

Blogger Huw said ... (4:25 pm) : 

Tubes make mornings a bit easier though. The possibility of missing the bus adds extra spice and panic, which aids wakefulness.

 

Anonymous sablonneuse said ... (6:40 pm) : 

Ah yes, I remember mornings with vehement yukness.
It's good being retired.
But - all good wishes for your new job and start counting down to your pension from now. . . . .

 

Blogger f:lux said ... (8:40 pm) : 

And while mornings are being banned, can health and safty manuals be removed from existence too? Yay!

 

Anonymous Keith said ... (8:58 pm) : 

sablonneuse ~ When Yaxlich retires there won't be any pension money left in the pot, he will finish up paying the Government for the privilege of being retired!

 

Blogger mad muthas said ... (10:48 pm) : 

mornings are as bad as january, aren't they?

 

Blogger Cappy said ... (2:37 am) : 

Facilities? We don' need no stinkin' FACILITIES!

 

Blogger Dan said ... (9:22 pm) : 

Hi, and thanks in advance for your time.

I'm a Cardiff University student and am writing a study on citizen journalism and its impact on the journalism industry...

I'm hoping to distriubte a simple, email survey to 100 bloggers such as yourself and was wondering firstly, if you would be willing to participate? It would only need two to three minutes of your time.

Please drop me a line if you can spare me a minute, I look forward to hearing from you,

Many thanks again,

Kindest regards,

Dan

 

Blogger enid said ... (10:11 am) : 

enid likes mornings but not jobs. she's a contractor which is much better because she can work when it suits her, which is after she's caught up on her blogs, walked stalin and fluffy and had several nice cups of caffeine.

good luck with the new job, yaxlich, and thanks for the link!

 

Blogger Andria said ... (7:28 pm) : 

This work business is obviously affecting your ability to blog. Boo!

 

Blogger mad muthas said ... (11:36 am) : 

i've just had a googlie that, surely, was intended for you.

frozen poo

and when i tried the search myself, to see where i came on the list of world experts, i found out about a couple of things i could have done without knowing...

 

Blogger Ariel said ... (12:33 pm) : 

Good morning is a contradiction in terms... Hope boredom is alleviated when Yaxlich is finally allowed to carry the duties for which he has been employed. If not, there could be more reading of Health & Safety literature in perspective.

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (12:53 pm) : 

Iggy - Yaxlich hopes it's before the end of the decade. There are only so many public liability insurance certificates he can read.

Keith - Your days sound far more iteresting and rewarding.

Lizza - It's the thought of something unsightly hanging out of his trousers which worries him more.

Dawn - Avoiding mornings had become something of a hobby for Yaxlich. Sadly not any more.

Goo - A change is as good as a rest so they say. However long lies in and not getting up until midday is an even better rest.

Terra Shield - Absolutely! This is why Yaxlich has only just woken up for the day and it's 12.45pm.

John G - Yaxlich hopes you and Keith raise a glass in his direction on Monday.

Wendz - Being naughty is good sometimes.

Huw - The tube trains are always full of smelly people playing rubbish music on their mobile phones so that everyone else in the carriage can hear what rubbish taste in music they have.

Sablonneuse - Yaxlich just worked out how many days before he retires. It was a very big number.

F:lux - If mornings were banned, there would be no need for H&S regulations. People would be more awake to potential dangers in the workplace.

Keith - Sadly you are probably correct.

Mad Muthas - January mornings. Yuck.

Cappy - Indeed. When did office juniors become facilities managers?

Dan - Yaxlich has no spare minutes. He intends on using all of them.

Enid - Functioning without 3 cups of coffee is not an option for Yaxlich.

Andria - Sadly this is true but he is hoping that once he's settled into a routine that he will be able to start blogging again. Possibly even from work but don't tell them that.

Mad Muthas - Frozen poo? That reminds him of a burglar deterrent he once invented. He really must get round to patenting the idea.

Ariel - Towards the end of the week the H&S manual was put to one side and he started to do proper work.

 

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