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Monday, November 20, 2006

Red Tape

Yaxlich has just been chuckling quietly to himself as he read about a new book called "How to Label a Goat" which will be available in all good bookstores for Christmas.

The book by Ross Clark gives examples as to how Britain is becoming a country strangled by red tape. Here are some real examples:

:: Soldiers learning the bagpipes have been banned from playing for more than 24 minutes a day to protect their ears.

:: A Cardiff pensioner was stopped from getting on a bus because he was carrying a tin of paint, breaking health and safety rules. The bus company later apologised and said it would be more flexible.

:: Bristol City Council spent 5,000 pounds on 100 yew trees, only to dig them up after a "risk assessment" ruled they could harm children at a nearby playground if they ate the leaves.

:: Norwich City Council ordered 20 roadside horse chestnut trees to be felled because falling conkers could damage cars, make the pavement slippery and lead to children being run over as they collected conkers.

Yaxlich hopes that Father Christmas delivers a copy of "How to Label a Goat" this year. He has been a very good boy.

Comments on "Red Tape"

 

Blogger Wendz said ... (1:05 pm) : 

Good grief. Do children still play conkers? I thought that went out with Enid Blyton.

p.s. shall I put in a note for you to dear Old FC? Our letters are going out this week.

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (1:14 pm) : 

They do still play conkers but only if they're wearing safety goggles, cricket batting gloves and abdominal protectors. All conker type activity must only take place in a designated ConkerZone assigned by the local council. They must also have signed form 350678D (2006) in front of 23 independent witnesses. A conker counsellor must be present as well as a Health & Safety executive who shall be paid for by the combatants.

 

Anonymous Sim said ... (2:33 pm) : 

I like the example where the Scottish authorities are drawing up legislation to order that every bicycle must have a bell, and that the owner should always use it to alert unsuspecting pedestrians that they are in effect illegally riding on the pavement. I think that I may ask Santa for a bicycle bell, and then look for a gaggle of young ruffians hanging around in the late evening

 

Anonymous john g. said ... (3:39 pm) : 

This country is absurd, if i wasn`t
disabled i`d emigrate!!

 

Blogger Wendz said ... (4:00 pm) : 

Yup - another reason I prefer France...they may walk about with large carrots up their botty's and have no sense of humour..but hell it's still a relatively free country.

 

Blogger Lizza said ... (4:40 pm) : 

Maybe it's these restrictions that give the Brits their lovable sense of humor.

Wendz, the French have carrots stuck in places where the sun don't shine? Is that the secret to their elegance? Kidding. France and England are two of the places I want to visit.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4:58 pm) : 

Why is Yaxlich a third person?

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (9:36 pm) : 

Yaxlich is concerned now about buying carrots from the supermarket. He will make sure they don't come from France.

Why is anonymous anonymous?

 

Blogger Sally Lomax said ... (11:48 pm) : 

Yaxlich - just remember that all comments may contain nuts.

Sally

 

Blogger ~*SilverNeurotic*~ said ... (2:15 am) : 

Sounds like an interesting book.

 

Blogger terra shield said ... (3:01 am) : 

We need a copy over here too :)

 

Anonymous Greenmantle said ... (7:39 am) : 

Greenmantle tthinks Sally is trying to say that all comments are nuts...
He lives in France, where everything that isn't obligatory is forbidden... but doesn't have a carrot in his bottom.

 

Anonymous meredic said ... (11:22 am) : 

> form 350678D etc
So....do I have to put the conkers back then.
Damn.

*Hides conkers*

....but not where a carrot fancier might look.

 

Blogger Sally Lomax said ... (11:23 am) : 

Do the carrots contain nuts too?

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6:21 pm) : 

Cause I don't like my name

 

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