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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Yaxlich Is A Brass Monkey

Yaxlich has just got home from work. It's about a 15 minute walk from the tube station to his home. In that time his hands went purple and he lost the feeling in his face.

However there has been another worrying side effect which he'd like to share with you.

For his non-UK readers he will start by quoting the Wikipedia definition of brass monkey (colloquial expression):

The phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" is sometimes used by English speakers. What a brass monkey is in this phrase is not known.

For the people at Wikipedia a brass monkey is a statue of a monkey made out of brass. Yaxlich doesn't quite understand which part of brass monkey you didn't get but he hopes that now you know that you will subsequently update your excellent online resource.

Following the 15 minute walk through suburban Siberia, Yaxlich needed to visit the bathroom rather urgently. Without going into too finer detail, he is now of the impression that he may well be a brass monkey because whilst performing his standard inventory of his underpants, he noticed that he was coming up with two less items than the previous stock check.

Comments on "Yaxlich Is A Brass Monkey"


Blogger john.g. said ... (7:43 pm) : 

Yaxlich should be told that brass monkey comes from the armada days. It was what they called the pile of cannon balls . Hence in cold weather it was cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. May Yaxlichs` small bits come out to play again soon.


Anonymous Sim said ... (9:02 pm) : 

It was brassic in the West country this morning. Poor Sim felt like she was smuggling peanuts at one point.

Luckily it was just leftovers from breakfast...


Anonymous wendy a said ... (12:07 am) : 

I was stopped in the street today by a small shiny brass monkey who appeared to be holding two brass ball-bearings in his hand. He asked me if I knew where the nearest welder or blacksmith lived.

Armada indeed! The only monkeys on those boats were the "grease monkeys" who just greased and maintained the engines, and looked after the ack-ack guns!


Anonymous Ignorminious said ... (12:41 am) : 

Ignorminious sympathises with Yaxich. He felt his drop down his trouser legs during his 10 minute walk to the car. Unluckily for him, he was walking along a bridge over a small stream at the time, and he thinks they may, even now, be floating down river somewhere :(

Roll on spring time!


Blogger ExAfrica said ... (1:08 am) : 

Lucky to be female, I'd guess. though I suffer, too, badly from the cold.

And I can't wear thin tops till May...


Blogger Milk & Two Sugars said ... (2:55 am) : 

In addition to John G's comment: the brass monkey was a ledge-like thing, made of brass, that the cannon balls were stored on (so they wouldn't roll around the deck, causing havoc etc). When the weather got really cold the cannon balls, which were not made of brass but rather of some other less-dense, less-expensive material, would shrink. Then they'd slide off the brass monkey, and cause havoc etc.

Isn't history interesting?


Anonymous enidd said ... (6:56 am) : 

enidd thought she just mention that in molvania, land of snow and ice, russians in fur hats and siberian wastelands, it was 16 degrees and sunny yesterday. she even sat outside on the balcony with a cool drinkie. chin chin!

ps she has some m&s thermal undies you could borrow if you like.


Anonymous sablonneuse said ... (11:03 am) : 

Hope you've found the missing items now that you're home in the warm. If not, you might make a fortune singing male soprano roles.


Blogger john.g. said ... (3:40 pm) : 

Wendy a, yah boo!!
milk and two sugars, thanks!
I was close, and Wendy a , they hadn`t invented ack-ack guns, `cause there weren`t any planes.


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (6:44 pm) : 

John G - He eventually found them nestled next to his liver. They didn't want to come out to play but ten minutes with serving spoon soon put that right.

Sim - Yaxlich saw another peanut smuggler this morning on the tube. He didn't realise that there was a black market for peanuts.

Wendy - Do blacksmiths still exist?

Iggy - Do they float in the winter and roll in the spring?

Exafrica - 41 days until the first thin top.

MTS - As well as being the resident medical expert on The World of Yaxlich, you are now proving to be something of a history boff too. You are very clever.

Enidd - Are they boys undies or girls undies?

Sablonneuse - Yaxlich has only ever watched one episode and there wasn't any singing in it.


Anonymous rivergirlie said ... (10:43 pm) : 

new thermal undies for you, yaxlich.


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (3:47 pm) : 

Rivergirlie - It's quite hot today so he wouldn't want thermals to make his medical condition flare up again.


Blogger Guyana-Gyal said ... (7:28 pm) : 

Does this mean you won't have that summer-heat 'medical condition' anymore?


Blogger Yaxlich said ... (1:35 am) : 

GG - The cold snap is over so he still has that to look forward to. Ho hum.


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