Bastards

As regular readers will know, Yaxlich is currently out of work. As a result he has to take a trip to the vegetable soup place every two weeks to prove that he has been actively trying to find work. He has to write down all of the jobs that he has applied for and tell them if there have been any change in his circumstances. This is to prevent people from claiming benefits under false pretences. Yaxlich is an honest man. He's not one of those people who are looking to scam the Government out of money whilst he's secretly running a multi million pound industry from his bedroom. He has worked all of his life and he is sure that this temporary lack of work is exactly that. You may remember that Yaxlich had a days work back in December. Being the honest, upright citizen that he is, Yaxlich told the people at the vegetable soup place and completed the relevant forms. His mummy has always told him that honesty is the best policy. Yesterday Yaxlich received a letter from the benefits people telling him that he is no longer entitled to any money. This letter was followed by another one this morning from the local council saying that they will no longer be paying Mr E any money. He rang them up to ask why and he was told it was because he was now back in employment. He explained that he had only worked one day and had no other work lined up. He was told that his case would be reviewed but, in the meantime, all payments would be suspended until he returned all of the appropriate forms. He pointed out that he had completed all of the forms given to him by the people at the vegetable soup place but they insisted that he complete some new ones. Yaxlich tries not to get angry about things but, on this occasion, he will make an exception. He is absolutely livid that by being honest and telling them that he'd worked for one single day that they are now stopping his money whilst there are thousands of people out there claiming benefits fraudulently which they are doing nothing about. He sees them every fortnight. They sign on, tell the clerks that they're not working despite the fact they're covered in paint and cement dust and then jump back into their vans parked outside and go back to work. Why are they not targeting them? Why are they targeting someone who has hit a rough patch but who is honest about when he has worked? He is going to ring the "helpline" again tomorrow to see what is happening. They will have received the 10 page document he had to complete by then. 10 pages for one days work. He couldn't understand a word that the woman said on the phone when he called yesterday. He hopes that he gets to speak to someone with less of an accent tomorrow. If you have come to visit Yaxlich in expectation of something witty or funny or because you entered "poo bum fart" into Google, he is sorry that you have been disappointed. Full refunds are available by calling 0845 666 9000. You'll need to complete a 10 page form to qualify for your refund and the chances are that you won't get it anyway.