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Friday, March 30, 2007

Musical Maths

Yaxlich has just been catching up with his blog reading and he is particularly enjoying Salvadore's current series of posts about music using mathematical diagrams.

As regular readers of the World of Yaxlich will know, Yaxlich is a big fan of maths. He really likes numbers. He likes numbers in the same way that Michelle McManus likes cake. Maths was always his joint favourite lesson at school along with English. PE was fun too until some of the bigger boys started laughing at him and calling him pigeon legs.

He remembers one time at school when he was having problems with his bottom. He hadn't been able to do a number two for days and it was starting to hurt. He didn't tell his mummy that he was having problems because the last time he told her she had made him eat figs and gave him some funny chocolate that made his bottom sting so rather than tell her, he decided to sit down and work out the probability of him suffering from constipation.

He got out his maths notebook and a calculator and began working on the equation. He came up with a formula whereby the number of meals consumed was multiplied by the cumulative aggregate roughage content, subdivided by the mean average of his PPD (poo per day) quotient and this figure was then divided by the number of PFD (poo free days).

No matter how many times he attempted it, his calculator kept coming up with an error message. He couldn't understand it at all. It was a Casio and everything and all the while, the pain in his tummy was getting worse so, in the end, Yaxlich did what every mathematician would do.

He worked it out with a pencil.

Comments on "Musical Maths"

 

Anonymous Ignorminious said ... (2:00 am) : 

Ewwwww :P

 

Anonymous enidd said ... (5:07 am) : 

enidd likes maths too. she studied it at university and everything. but she preferred to work it out with a fountain pen, until she realised the problem with fountain pens - the nib always gets clagged up.

 

Anonymous Stu Savory said ... (5:31 am) : 

All his base are belong to us ;-)

 

Anonymous sablonneuse said ... (8:46 am) : 

Hilarious!
But I, too, can remember the exlax and the syrup of figs. Castor oil is the worst though and as for liquid paraffin, I accidently on purpose dropped a bottle of it once and was made to clear up every last greasy trace. Yuk.

 

Blogger Mr. X said ... (8:53 am) : 

Mr.X hopes Yaxlich was careful with the pointy bit.
And did not put it behind his ear after working it out.

 

Blogger Milk & Two Sugars said ... (9:21 am) : 

SNIGGER.

 

Blogger Prometheus said ... (12:57 pm) : 

Yaxlich should have used the Bowell's variation of Murphy's Law. He should have gone to an important event like a first date. The aforesaid law, that states that 'the buildup of Poo Pressure (bPP) is directly proportional to the importance of an event (E) where the avoidability of pooing is equal to that of the plague' would have taken course. This law is infallible and advances is this branch of mathematics have led to the accurate computation of the 'Dispersal Quotient of Ceiling Fans'. This quotient, denoted by the Greek letter Pu is said to be as important a constant as Pi.

 

Blogger john.g. said ... (3:40 pm) : 

PILLOCK !!!!!!!

 

Blogger Jim McKee said ... (8:03 pm) : 

Not being familiar with Michelle McManus, I had to Google her. I have to say, she's a lovely gal, and I would be very happy to do... er, I mean, date her.

(But then again, I have always loved big girls.)

 

Blogger Ariel said ... (9:21 pm) : 

One hopes Yaxlich does not chew pencils...

 

Blogger Guyana-Gyal said ... (10:46 pm) : 

I knew it all along. Maths is poo.

 

Anonymous rivergirlie said ... (1:40 am) : 

oh yuk! i wasn't expecting that - even a little bit. i should have known better ...

 

Blogger zoe said ... (6:52 pm) : 

zoe feels sick and hopes to god that you never had to go through the same thing again. doing maths with a pencil always ends in a disaster.

 

Anonymous Billyboy said ... (8:11 pm) : 

I hope Yaxlich put his working out down on paper. You dont want to get bad marks through sloppy paperwork.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:27 pm) : 

I see, we've found the level have we?

Keith @ "Smithy Lane", Number 11 actually.

 

Blogger Sally Lomax said ... (9:32 am) : 

Pencil?

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (1:33 pm) : 

Enidd - Bic biros have the same problem.

Stu - Indeed.

Sablonneuse - Yaxlich had forgotten about castor oil. Bleurgh!

Mr X - Yaxlich assumes you are talking about the pencil.

Prometheus - As ever you bring an enlightened view to the table. For this Yaxlich thanks you.

Jim - She has lost some weight recently. Ever since that incident involving her sunbathing on a beach, buckets of water and Greenpeace.

Ariel - Not any more.

GG - Yaxlich hopes you're enjoying the World Cup.

Rivergirlie - Weren't you once a Mad Mutha?

Zoe - You should be receiving some post in the next couple of days.

Billyboy - The mental image conjured by your comment was enough to make Yaxlich do a bit of sick in his mouth.

 

Blogger Guyana-Gyal said ... (2:17 pm) : 

No. World Cup is now very very bad thing.

Windies got creamed by Sri Lanka.

 

Blogger Yaxlich said ... (1:06 am) : 

Sadly England were pasteurised by Sri Lanka today.

 

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